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Sardar 1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain

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Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

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A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning
becomes tight"

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Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a
novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the
ticket and didn't travel.

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line
said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."


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What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming
pools,one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

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Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

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What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..

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Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.

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Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

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Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl! So girl
shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se
maroon??!!!'

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Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter
with two men ahead of him.
Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.

1)Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
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why ?? why ??
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Because, Tendulkar is an opener.


2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
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Socho socho
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aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

3)What will! u call a person who is leaving
India??

Socho...............Socho
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Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam
Kya tha................................... .
Socho yar ....its very easy
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Answer: adidas

5)Luv and
Kush were going to a village & in between
comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?
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Because Luv is blind!!!!!

6)Now
Kush also jumps inside. Why?
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OK lot's of head scratching done.
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Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...

7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
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nahi pata..??
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Answer: D'Cold
"chain ki saans - D'cold"




8)Ek aur.....
Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??

arey yeh to batao
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think harder...
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Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,
ha..kitna asan tha ....kya yaar...tum bi na


9)Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe ....
kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..
bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata
hai why???
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Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

aur chhaiye kya?
....ab bas hai jaa ke kaam karlo........

 

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? ... You are too young to smoke.

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What did the big tomatoe say to the little tomatoe? ... Ketchup!

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What did the cannibal say, after he ate the clown? ... Boy, that tasted funny!

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How do you make Holy Water? ... Boil the hell out of it.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? ... His lips are moving!

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? ... Professional courtesy!

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? ... From chasing parked ambulances!

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" ... The bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"

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Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

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Why do birds fly south for the winter? ... Because it is too far to walk!

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? ... A carrot!

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What do you give the man who has everything? ... Antibiotics!

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A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."   

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Why did the man cross the road? ... Because there were no women on his side.

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What's the differance between Bigfoot and an honest man? ... Bigfoot has been sighted!

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What is the difference between government bonds and men? ... Government bonds mature.

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What's a man's idea of helping with house work? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

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What's the difference between man and E.T.? E.T... phoned home.

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How do men define a 50/50 relationship? ... They cook, we eat. They clean, we dirty. They iron, we wrinkle

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How do men exercise at the beach? ... Everytime they see a bikini, they suck their belly in

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' She replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

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There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

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Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

************************************************************************************************************One young man went for an Interview.
"When did India get independence?"

He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence?"
There were so many. Whom to mention?

If I name one it will be a injustice to another." He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly
only after seeing the report" He replied. 

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they were planning to ask the same
questions.

When he went out, naturally others were curious to know what was
asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
"At  least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Sardar.

When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.

"By the way, what is your date of birth?"
Sardar replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947." 

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your athers name?"

Sardar replied, "There were so many.

Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed. "Hey ! are you mad or what?"
Sardar replied : "Some research is going on the subject.

I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."

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TEACHER: Why are you late?
CHANDU: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
CHANDU: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." 

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TEACHER: Chandu, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
CHANDU: You told me to do it without using tables! 

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TEACHER: Chandu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
CHANDU: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
CHANDU: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! 

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
CHANDU: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
CHANDU: Yesterday you said it's H to O! 

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TEACHER: Magan, go to the map and find North America.
MAGAN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Chandu, who discovered America?
CHANDU: Georg! e!! 

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TEACHER: Chandu, name one important thing we have today that 
we didn't have ten years ago?
CHANDU: Me!

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
CHANDU: Don't bite any. 

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TEACHER: Chandu, give me a sentence starting with "I".
CHANDU: I is...
TEACHER: No, Chandu. Always say, "I am."
CHANDU: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." 

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
CHANDU: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the 
same day, same time." 

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's 
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you 
know why his father didn't punish him?" 
CHANDU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand." 

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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and 
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
CHANDU: Brotherly love. 

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Teacher: Now, Chandu, tell me frankly do you say prayers 
before eating? 
CHANDU : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. 

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Teacher: Chandu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly 
the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
CHANDU: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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